Can't call

Today I have not been feeling well. Exhausted, lethargic, dizzy, just overall in a blah type of mood.

I am now 30 years old and can honestly say it never got old leaning on my mom to make me feel better. Even if I was just having a bad day, she'd listen to me go on and on venting and knew how to make me feel better. She was always one of my biggest cheerleaders and encouraged me any way she could even up to her last days.

Today after work, I had the biggest urge to pick up the phone to call her. Not thinking, I picked up my phone with a split second sense of relief that I was going to be able to feel better speaking with my mom and that split second diminished so quickly when I was like "oh wait..." Going on the 3rd month now, not feeling well today and not having her there to lean on is taking a toll on me again. I have been having my come and go moments just thinking about her, ever since that awful day of September 26th. I find myself just tearing up, sometimes all out crying, just thinking about her.

When will this get easier?

The Manager Life

Soo I have been the regional coordinator, which is the person who runs the program where I work, since October now. I have to say its had its ups and downs so far, as any job does. However! This morning I went back to work after a nice 4 day weekend and literally as soon as I walked in door, I had two staff approach me with a complaint about something that happened over the weekend. Now I know its part of a managers job to deal with staff issues and complaints, but really?! Tag teaming me literally as soon as i walk in the door after a long holiday weekend? Needless to say, i spoke my mind not letting them get the better of me and told them they complained about the opposite previously and basically that i am damned if i do and damned if i dont and if they dont like it so be it. Lol said it in a nicer way but that was the jist of it. 

Spoke my peice and then I spoke on the phone to the person whos been training me, is also a manager and always has my back. She said "listen hang in there. They are going to try to tear us down and they really need to see that we are remaining as a joint force. I always have your back and all of these experiences only make us stronger, teach us how to address and handle these situations and only make us great at what we do!!!!!" 

Ugh what a way to start back after a long weekend but thankful I reached out to vent because I felt so much better and the day did get better :-)